Glow

Glow

She kept her eyes closed Because the darkness was easier to bear It was familiar and safe And in it, no one else was present In it, she was alone Left to deal with nothing And no one Except herself Cradling her arms around the bend of her knees She held onto that darkness Seeing it wasn’t enough She needed to feel it too Smooth, and soft, and silky Coated in the moisture of denial That a world outside this darkness she’d created Didn’t exist anymore But it did Waiting just outside her tightly closed eyelids Waiting to penetrate her reality Waiting to shatter her safety There was no tangible noise in the darkness Only echoes of what she remembered From being in the light The cruel, judgemental light Memories of what the light said Nightmares of what the light did Pain from what the light left behind Hatred from how the light made her feel “Open them” a familiar voice begged of her Almost completely drowned out By her refusal to acknowledge it Her refusal to accept whose voice it was Pulling tighter at her knees Not giving in to the urge to blink She turned Until she was facing a wall Or so she thought How could she know When her eyes were closed? How could she possibly know the difference? “Open them” the voice begged again This time finding her in assumed safety It wouldn’t harm her to open her eyes If she was facing a dark wall A tear found its way to the rise of her cheek As she faced the wall and rose to her feet Certain that what she was facing Was the same as what she’d been hiding in One lid at a time She opened her eyes Instantly blinded By the light she didn’t know was there Forced to look up and into it Held captive in the corner When the wall from the other end Closed in and trapped her where she stood She tried to look down Light was there too She looked from left to right Light was there too She tried closing her eyes But it was more painful than she remembered So she left them open Eventually accepting the light’s defeat She looked down at her skin Skin that resembled the darkest soil and had been treated as such Skin that had been camouflaged by the darkness she hid inside of Now this skin looked different As she studied it beneath the light It appeared more appealing It appeared worthy of more than it had been offered It no longer resembled The soil that covered dead things It now took on the appearance Of the soil that living things were planted in and grew from A simple escape from the light Had, without intent, given her new perspective Had somehow restored something That she never knew was there It had changed her dark eyes Driving right into them And staying there Even in the darkness She couldn’t have seen it coming Not with her eyes closed Not with her ears covered Not with her arms wrapped so tightly around her knees She wouldn’t have believed it Even if they told her, though they did not She barely believed the voice speaking to her Even though it was her own But there she stood Finally a witness to her own dark beauty And beneath the light created to blind her She glowed